I am always the person who needs. Never the one who is needed. The little brother, the inferior one, the irresponsible one, the younger, the less reliable, more childish one. Sure, I led everyone to believe that, and I reinforced that fact by acting that way on purpose. The feeling of having someone to rely on is nice, isn't it? People baby you, think you're "oh, so cute" and what not. It was always my job to be the younger brother, the less mature and more innocent and niave one.
But guess what? I want to be needed. I'm not as innocent and niave as people think. And as time passes by, my mask slips up, and then people wonder, *gasp* "Were you always like that?" People may think they know me. But in reality? I don't even know myself.
I want to be needed. I don't want to be thrown away. That was why I have always dreamed of becoming famous. Then people would want me. My friends, my family members, they would all finally see me. I'm always the invisible one. "Look at me! Listen to me!" but no one would turn around. I have a major attention complex, don't I?
Everyone has talents. I suppose mine is art. But I'm just average, compared to the million of artists out there. I need to improve. Yet I don't. I'm still stuck here. What am I doing?
Sorry, this post has been very emmotiona for me. It is like my entire life laid out in a single thought. I want to be known. Look at me. And look at what I can do. I want to show the world that I can be someone. And I don't want to rely on someone to do that.
I need to step out of my world and run ahead to my dreams.

Labels: persona